New Mobile

haha I was commenting on FB on how I wish to have a new mobile. well Alex was laughing at me when I asked "who wants to get me either BB or Iphone"..hehe *Magic came in play i believe. i just got it not even a night...thank you dady.

okie. that will be the end of my entry for today. i wanna explore on my New BB already...

..........

not to my surprise that the old feeling and fear of the end year moment come and hunt me once more. but my inner spirit encouraged me stand firmed on who I am in Him. Lord, you said "greater the one who is in me than the one who is in this world".

NYATAKANLAH KUASAMU DI DALAM KU. ini tanganku, hatiku, khawatirku dan hidupku kuserahkan hanya padaMu. terima kasih Tuhan, karena aku masih punya Engkau tempatku mengadu dan bersandar. Aq mengasihiMu Tuhan. Mampukanlah Aq hidup untukMu.

His continuance love and presence

strangely exhausted for almost everyday. I wonder whether it is the workloads or the 3 hours journey from my house to my working place that cause me to feel the extreme fatigue. I tried to press on everyday forgetting all the pains. yea not surprisingly, I could just bear the pain during the day remembering that works required my attention to get them done in time. However, I cry silently after I come back from work because the pains start taking a revenge on me after I ignore them during the day at the office. The pain is indescribable.

Nevertheless, my God is always there for me. when I was tempted to quit or even to complain, He said this to me "you asked Me to give you a job and I gave you. there are responsibilities that come along with what you were asking for. Don't worry I'll give you strength to do what I ask you to do. just do your best and I will take care of the rest."His continuing love and presence that help me to press on till today. what a wonderful God. one thing about knowing Jesus is that He makes me smile in midst of melancholy situation and He assures me that my hope in Him will never be disappointed as I stay faithful through the moment of refining. another promise that I hold unto is the assurance that God sees the trouble and the brokenhearted of His people and He TAKE them all TO HIMSELF so that His people could experience a total freedom through believing in Him.

Beside that, through His spirit, He opens the eyes of my heart to understand His words and also makes me pray a prayer of refining myself from all kind of wickedness. His words say that "wipe out oh Lord the wickedness of the people until you cannot find any of wickedness in them". This verse means that God is not wiping out the people but their wicked ways. No doubt in the process of wiping out our wicked ways, we may see suffering in the flesh as if we are being wiping out not our wicked ways. but do not be fooled by what we see. keep our eyes on Him, stay faithful and press on till we see our wicked flesh being renewed and obedient to the spirit of God that is in us.

That's all for today my brothers and sisters. hope we keep pressing on till the end of the day and we shall pray and encourage one another ya so that we may grow together. God Bless you all. Hugs and lots of love.
=)

B'day wishes

birthday is coming soon and i have been waiting for such day to come. I don't want party or birthday cake,. but i want a new mobilephone. i have been planning to ask my dad to buy me a blackberry on my birthday. so he will have no excuse for my request. hihi...i want it not because i wanted for the sake of wanting it. but i want it because my old phone cannot co-operate wih me any longer. I cannot tolerate with my old mobile phone anymore. can you imagine, the voice of the person from the other side of the phone is out of sudden shaken and it happens when the conversation begins for about 5 minutes. IT'S ENOUGHHHHH.

God's business of peeling off

"KETERBUKAAN adalah kunci dari PEMULIHAN...
......BUKAN soal BENAR atau SALAH tetapi RESPON..."
the above statement really strikes me this morning as i attended a morning service. trying to hold my tears but it was pouring out greatly. but i can assure you that it was tears of Happiness. It refreshes me about God's business of peeling off my dried and ugly-looking layers of skin. He is peeling it off layer by layer *outchhh...He is making me beautiful each day. But it is not as easy as you might think of. it is really painful.

just wanna share a short testimony on what i was going through last friday. my senior asked me to review case of a new client and upon reviewing we found something out of order. i checked and re-checked, unfortunately i still couldn't find the one that we were searching for. in the end the email was sent to this client inquiring about the matters. in the meantime, as i was drafting the case summary of that case, i found the one that we were previously searching for. and i said to myself oh NO, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. unfortunately it was happening. i was really down that afternoon because to my mind i made a huge mistake. i got 2 choices of which one was favourable at least in my own thinking but it was actually otherwise, and the other one was not going to give any favor as i had to admit that i made a mistake and would be scolded. i chose the second choice and i got a different respond. My senior did not scold me *She actually just found out about the case just before i found out about it,,,,probably She was waiting for me to tell the truth,,,in respond She comforted me and gave some advice,,,I was really and am still grateful for God helped me to take a step of which i was previous tempted not to do *the confessing part,,,my flesh is weak but greater is the One who is in me than the one who is in the world *which is me

my point of telling the aforesaid testimony is that as i was opened up for correction, God enabled me to respond to what He has revealed to me and favors overflew simultaneously. I pray for all my brothers and sisters in Christ and I that God will do the works of peeling off until we are perfectly beautiful in due time.

so just be prepared for another peeling off ya,,,love you all,,,LOVE YOU LORD...

first laughter of the day

hahahahaha
I laugh because I am happy
it isn't just today but it was since yesterday morning during the sunday service.
it is just about another confirmation from God.

*I forgot where it is written but basically all it says is that "we are alive, moving and exist because of Him" and "we are the descendant of God". as for the former, all i got is that "I know that I am here for a reason and I don't need to find a reason why in the first time I ever existed in this world. And every step I take God directs and nothing happened by coincidence *but I have to give ears to His words and a willing heart to obey and trust Him wholeheartedly."

as for the latter, it all confirmed to me that I am His and He will help me to be like His Son Jesus Christ. so I ain't worried about anything but I will pray and submit everything [plans, struggles, future and all] to God.

coffee ???

ups what happen??
suprisingly, Coffee has no effects on me already.
has my body's immuned to coffee without me realising it?
oh no oh no
this is not good,,
what am I supposed to drink when I feel sleepy then??
erhm,,,aHaaaa, Ginseng will do or Red Bull *the one with sugar,,
yea I am only left with two options,,

Berkat & K'kuatan yang Baru

Yesus adalah hal yang terindah yang pernah gw miliki dalam hidup ini. Dia slalu beri kekuatan and berkat yang baru setiap harinya kepadaku dan saudara-saudara sekalian. semalam Tuhan kasih berkat dan kepastian yang baru buatku yaitu dari filipi 1-2. didalam 2 chapter yang gw baca, ada 3 hal yang kutangkap yaitu

1. jikalau aku harus hidup di dalam dunia ini, aku harus berbuah

2. oleh karena kerendahan hati Tuhan bahkan sampai Ia mati di kayu salib dan di kuburkan, Allah Bapa meninggikanNya dan namaNya adalah diatas sgala nama. "supaya oleh namaNya ditundukkan, segala yang ada di langit, yang ada diatas bumi dan yang ada dibawah bumi. dan sgala lidah mengaku bahwa Yesus Kristus adalah Tuhan, dan Bapa yang disorga dipermuliakan" -> hey disini kita smua yang percaya dikasih pengertian bahwa "tak ada yang dapat mengalahkan kita jikalau kita mengandalkan nama Tuhan dan bersandar pada apa yang diperintahkannya". jadi jangan takut kalo ada rintangan dan badai yang menerpa kita ditengah perjalanan kita okie. andalan Tuhan dan Dia adalah Allah yang setia pada janji-janjiNya..Okie..Hebat bukan,,

3. lakukanlah sgala sesuatu dengan tidak bersungut-sungut dan berbantah-bantahan.

:)

ring ring, the alarm rang at 4am
not realising that the night has gone by
and it is time to get ready to receive a fresh bread

4 hours were not usually enough
but it cannot be a reason to complain
rather I should be thankful
because the new strength is given
and a bright day is waiting ahead

keep me eyes straight on You oh God
for I want to get through the day with Your guidance,
with the company of Your Holy Spirit and Your words as my sword
this is I, Ika, take me to Your presence
and I surrender all things that I will do and say today into Your loving hands

argh

arghhhh & sighed,,nothing to do at the office today,,
ups not that there is nothing to do but it is just i have done what i am supposed to do.
seriously i got headache when i am stoning at the office,,*give me more tasks, give me,,i need it,,
erhmm oh ya, it was really upsetting when i went to the tax registry office. i supposed to apply for Company's tax registration number, but there was something needed to be there in order for it to be processed by the tax officer AND it has never ever happened before. so in the end, it's still pending,,

But I am determined that it has to be registered tomorrow. yea it has to be,,,we got the Power of Attorney as a backup to argue on the matter.

zZZzzz

oh No, I am so sleepy out of sudden,,
oh No, it's bad because I am still at work,,
probably it is because of the medicine that I took after lunch
or is it because I ate too much for lunch today,,
oh No, what am I gonna do???
I have no idea,,probably I'll try my best to read book a little bit louder than usual,,
I need to stay UP and fully SOBER,,
help help help,,

Friday

do u want to know why do i choose the title of today's entry "friday"??,,,
i choose friday because today is friday
and tomorrow I am OFF, that's the beauty of it,,,
not that i dont like to work, I am absolutely happy to be at work,,
it is just i wanted to have more time to sleep and read on my own pleasure,,,

oh ya, I almost overslept, thank God, Iras called to wake me up. thanks brother,,,
I am pursuing His promise from Proverb 9:10 right now (the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Almighty is an understanding),,,yeaaaaaa I AM STRIVING for wisdom,,,i have faith i will have it in due time as i obey and hold onto His words,,,

erhm, what am i doing in the middle of working hours??well well, i have done my task (it was the leftover from yesterday's work) which was to draft legal due diligence of company. and i still have more work to come...can't wait to be busy. seriously i don't like to just sit down in the office doing nothing productive *beside reading books on investment matters and corporate law which are the food of the firm that I am working right now,,,

that will be the end of my entry today,,wish you all the best wherever you are and in whatever you do for today ya,,,

Kabar Gembira

Selamat Pagi Indonesia dan Slamat Pagi Smua_a,,,
ada kabar gembira lho *tapi hanya bagi pendukung_a saja,,"perolehan hasil pilpres sementara menunjukan bahwa SBY berada ditingkat yang paling atas diantara 2 anggota pilpres lain_a,,yuhuuuuu eliz seneng banget,,,temen" ikut seneng g??

oh iya, pagi ini eliz cuma mau bagi berkat" buat temen" sekalian,, mau g terima berkat_a,,mau donk ya,,siapa sich yang g mau terima berkat,,ya g?? berkatnya dari Amsal 7:4 : "katakanlah kepada hikmat, engkaulah saudaraku,, dan kepada pengertian, engkaulah sanakku"..indah khan,,,pasti_a kita smua mau beroleh hikmat dan pengertian khan?? nah kalo gitu, Firman Tuhan yang tadi adalah kata kunci_a,,plus diperhatiin juga ya apa apa saja yang dituliskan dalam kitab amsal (cari tau apa yang menjadi kesukaan dariapada si hikmat),,,okie temen",,

ya dh dulu ya, sampai disini dulu entry eliz hari ini,,Tuhan Yesus Memberkati

;)

Finally

*took a darn deep breath
Finally I could have 6 hours of sleep yesterday and still in hope that I would have it also today
Finally I ate rice (proper lunch) today
Finally I have 3 choices of bus that I can take from Senen Market to Karawaci, Tangerang, HUH
Finally I could reach home by 9pm yesterday and still hoping it will be the same for today
Finally I could work with a peace of mind
Finally I made a very important choice in mylife,,

Finally I can end this entry for today

A new strength

well well well, i was not feeling well yesterday after gone back from office. my entire body was aching. most probably it was because the flu and cough that i get caught up from travelling medan-jakarta and jakarta medan in just within 2 days 1 night. plus the ice cream that i ate when it was raining and the shoes that i wore in which i felt my fingers were being squeezed. arghhh.

but today is different, i am feeling better not just physically but also spiritually. He takes me one step at the time to be someone that He wanted me to be. but it takes willingness on my part to obey His voice and cast all rubbish that drives me astray from the vision He had shown me. to sum up, i just wanna say declare the words that has encouraged me which is "His voice is in the storm and He is in the storm". so I dont want to worry for He is there in every storm of my life.

Monday

just dropped by to say hi to all of you. it has been quite all these while and honestly i miss those times where i could sit neatly and relax with a cup of tea at the side of my desk and write an entry at the same time. but i won't feel disspointed because of the limited time that i have to write an entry. so i shall begin Now..

the past few days were great and it is remained awesome till today. i have God and people around me every second of mylife. it is evident before me that God has never ever leave me nor forsake me. lately He reminds me of His promise that He is there, in the storm of my life, no matter it is a small wave or tremendous wave. just this morning my friend, Iras encouraged me too through the word of God that emphasised that 'we need to be watchful and violence towards the plunders that wanted to destroy our vine yard that is blooming right now.'

terrific right :),,, haha i have no further words to say. therefore i shall stop here. wish all the best and a blessed day ahead.

SEMAGAT,,,,,

SEMAGAT,,,,,

Random

OMG I am so sleepy. sleepy sleepy sleepy.
it's time to take a nap...

My ever Cells

My first cell was KDC and I thought in my heart that I would never have such a cell in my life again. I was limiting God to place me with people that He intends to bless me. I was being prayed by pastor Julie when I attended my last service in GT. It is still recorded in my mind so clearly that she prayed so that there would be people as my covering shield to walk along with me.

guess what i am so blessed in my new cell just as i was blessed when i was in KDC. i thank God for it. When I was about to fall, He strengthens me with His words, and when my world has been so busy/noisy and caused me to be unable to hear God's voice, he speaks through my cell members and even pastors. so awesome.

all i am saying is that the blessing that God has given me through KDC continues to pour out even when i am in Medan, Indonesia. there's one scripture that is very encouraging which is 'when we wholeheartedly seek for His face, he comes like a sunset and pours out like a rain that flows in the end of the season.' and yes He is faithful to His words and it has been evidenced in my life.

I love you Lord and I love you Iras, Josephine, Dame, Tio, Morrys, Scere, Sista Nina.

Semangat terus ya temen temenqu yang ku kasihi...

thumbs up for Jesus and you all

how should we fight

hey ya...

I am really content with the life that I have right now. even though life is exceedingly and constantly challenging, I always tried to keep the joy of the Lord in my heart. This joy does not come from my own ability to try to reach out to God. But through the power of His words that enable me to talk back to the devil in order to defeat him with the truth in which he won't be able to stand. this was and is still the weapon that i used to fight, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5.

the weapons that this scriptures is talking about are the blood, His name and His words. His blood reminds me of the reason why He died for me, which is to set me free from all kinds of bondage that make me go astray from Him and to inherent His promises. His blood and His resurrection have defeated our deadly punishment. if you ponder this life and you think that your life has been so devastating either by sickness, stress, financial attack, family matters or whatever it is, the only line that you have not been walking in the words of the truth. a path that leads you to death. well we all will die one day. but the question is whether we have received God's promises while we live on earth (Jeremiah 29:11---a prosperous life, a hope and a better future). this promises are meant to be given to us when we are living on earth and not on heaven because on heaven we will definitely inherent all that we could or could not even imagine.

as for His words, it scans all kinds of deceit that the devil tells me. Have you wondered how to stand on your faith when it is so evidenced before you eyes? the devil says, here i can show you sickness, your failure, your inabilities, your hurts,,,Now show me your evidence?? what are we gonna do in this situation. are we going to accept and swallow that just like that?? No we SHOULDN'T do that. fight and talk back to the devil of God's promises into our life. as for the sickness, say by the stripes of Jesus, we are healed. as for the failure, talk back to the devil that God promises you a good future and prosperous life. fire the devil until he flew from you and you get peace in your heart.

as for His name, it is written that the name of the Lord is a great fortress and whoever runs to it will be safe.

so in summary, in order to fight a good fight of faith, we need to feed our spirit with the word of God. DON'T go silent, talk back to the devil and he shall flee from you. Jesus also talked back to the devil when he was tempted while he was fasting for 40 days. as we all know, the devil flew.

my lovely brothers and sisters, do fight ya. defeat the darn ugly devil and do not be deceived by His deceitful sayings. OKIE. Good, that's my brothers and sisters..

YC 016

first of all, i just wanna wanna welcome all my friends who do read this blog. this blog is officially opened once again. hopefully you will enjoy the reading ya.

most probably you do not know that I have been in the cell group in Medan. how extraordinary and exciting at first because huh i had never had a cell group before ever since i was in medan few years back. previously i had to sneak to go for gathering or prayer meeting or the best timing was always be friday afternoon (after school). and now the situation is different, i do not need to sneak in order to go for a cell group. God has given a favour in my parents' sight. horay...i have been given a key of freedom.

this cell is quite unique not only because i'm one of the older members but also how God speaks to me and them wonderfully. not until yesterday, i was being waking up by God in such a way that touched me because i did not realise it until i got back home from cell. meeting after meeting, i have something to share with them. but before i share, i always remind myself and pray that the words that are coming out of my mouth not be of me but of God. i'll stop for a moment when i sense somehow that the words are not from God. how do i know it? well, there is a pressure inside me like 'start thinking whether im saying is correct and i lose track of what im saying' and i have no peace about what im saying as well (i learn the last point from the biblical teaching of Joyce Meyer). but when it is of God, peace rests in my heart.

yesterday, they wanted to hear me sharing as well but i did not. not because i did not want. rather i reckon God did not want me to share on that day. Guess what, God wants me to see the condition of individual heart and the entire cell. they are hungry to hear the word of God, they wanna go more intimately with Him. this reflects clearly from their responds when i said that i had nothing to share. they said 'please don't keep to yourself but share with us. surely you have lots to share with us'. I WANNA GO MORE HUNGRY TOO LORD.

beside the cell issues, i wanna delevop a positive attitude over a new challenge before me. it's just about the postgraduate program that i intended to do. what i have in my hands right now SUGGESTs that it is impossible. but i swiftly change my attitude because im not living by what i see but by what i believe in. God will open the door for me to enter to the university that He wants to me have an influence to bring His name high. all the opposition either from people or my own flesh or thought of impossibility are just weeds that i need to pull out of my ways.

positive mindset and attitude restore the strength and peace that that God has given me.

Msia

I love this book so much and I certainly cannot afford to lose it. The path of life that I have spent with you all has been great. You watched me growing, stood by my side when things were not going the way I wanted it to be, and encouraged me when I was down, smiled and laughed with me. I never even dreamt and imagined that I could be here in Malaysia and be blessed so abundantly in the fellowship with God and you all. I love Malaysia and if I am being given an opportunity to settle down in Malaysia, I would be very keen to take it. Even though many people are saying bad things about Malaysia and complaining about how unjust and corrupted Msia is, I still love Malaysia. No one can change my mind. The reason being is that I grew here, I encounter God here (God becoming more real and I know how it means to have my faith set on Him; and I know how painful it is to watch people living their life without knowing Christ; and I know the feeling of winning one soul to Christ; and I know that His words are the powerful weapon that I can use to win the battlefield that I was and am in right now, etc).

Sighed, I am leaving soon. I am going to Indonesia. Not that I don’t like Indonesia, but there is something I fear of when I am at home. I wanted to spill it out here but I choose not to because it seems to suggest that I agree and am confirming that it’s gonna take placed (it’s like giving a way to the devil to set a stronghold on me). Instead of staying in fear and anxiety, I choose to swift my mind to God’s promises. He promised me and I know He’s going to carry it out.

Anyway, even though I will not be able to spend my time with you all as I used to be, you remain in my heart forever. The chapter of my life is just begun. My battlefield is going to be harder but it is not going to discourage me in one way or another. I know it is hard but it does not mean I should give up. If God never ever thought to give up on me, why should I give up? Right? Through Him, I can do all things.

So guys, YOU DO MEAN A LOT TO ME. I DO love you all with all my heart. you have left your footprints in my heart. I don’t have anything to offer but my friendship and a prayer that we all grow in our faith and persevere though the journey is tough.

I don’t want to say goodbye because I know we will meet one day. So I should say ‘cya soon okie’

battlefield

I really wish i can talk to someone freely without hiding anything.
and being truthful in spilling out this battlefield of mine.
someone that i can be accountable to.
i hate the way i am right now.
being someone that i hate the most in my life.
being someone that i really wish will never exist.

but God is awesome
He never ever leave me
He left me His promise that really encouraged me
"we are hard-pressed on every side
but not crushed. perplexed but not destroyed"

i still have a long way to go
i choose not to be discouraged by the situation where i am in rite now
because i know i'll be renewed each day to be a person he formed me to be
but i still need that someone, just to be accountable to
i pray that God will place someone for me

=(

so sad and dissappointed. sighed.

btw, i missed hobart, OCF, its weather, foods, scenaries, bays, beaches, its ugly looking trees, boats, and in particular i miss alice, jason wong, shaun, travis, terence, yingqi, etc..sighed

L-O-V-E

have you ever wondered why God's love is different from ours? beside the fact that He is God, there is something unique that makes God's love is so unconditional. it is written in 1 John 4:18 that "there is no fear in love. but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. the one who fears is not made perfect in love". surprised about it? you may or may not surprise to find that very essential piece of facts, but i tell you, i am surprised.

the reason being is " it is revealed that God never fears to give His life for us even though He certainly knew that because of our human nature we would fail Him or reject or hurt Him in any way." Instead, He was bold to go to the cross to be nailed for our sins so that His love can be made perfect and we could live through him and through his love (1 John 4:9).

do u wonder what it means "so we could live through Him?" as a flesh, we are weak and tend to sin and our love (to one another and to God) is a conditional one. unlike our love, God's love is unconditional and has already made perfect because He does not fear to love us in the first place despite very fact that i have stated in the foregoing paragraph. and He commands us to love one another so that he lives in us and we in Him. note that the verse 11 is a compulsory. it does not give us a choice either to love or hate or be neutral. it rather commands us that 'we ought to love one another." and as we are flesh, we'll in one way or another fail to do it if we are relying on our strength. so basically it comes back to the basic, get our first love to God be refreshed everyday and everytime. if that first love keeps refreshed within us, we will surely capable of loving one another and also to do all things that God has assigned us to do. In short, that verse tells us that God is the only and one role model that we should follow because he has overcame the world (everything you could possibly or impossibly think of).

so if we love one another, God's love makes complete in us. why? God is love and if we love one another, God lives in us and therefore we can be called love (we become more and more like God - God is love..) as well because we are the forms of God's love. we become hungry to do what God loves to do which is all about reaching out, caring for the needy, laying down your life for those you want to win for Christ, etc...i bet you know i mean.

awesome, i learn alot today. how about you? wanna share some with me? i'd be very keen to hear from you my dear friends.

may God touch your life everyday and may you find Joy in His presence. with lots of love, hugs and kisses i end this entry

5 of them

I'm proud to say that i have 5 brothers and sisters and even proud to say that I'm the first born. i can easily whack them.haha just joking. it is rather a big responsibility because i have to be a role model for them which is not easy i should say. but sadly to say sometimes they don't listen to me. instead they bullied me. all over my body can have lots of bruises because they played so rough. sighed. but when i'm seriously angry, they don't dare to talk back to me. that's good because they show respect to me.

this one is rather hard to deal with but i manage to deal with him somehow. one fact that makes me frustrating sometimes is that people always mistaken that he's the first born and Not me. btw he's looking good in this pic but i'll show you his real face (well it was long time ago. a time where he was still stranded in msia). his name is christian and we call him Ian.

ahh this is his real face..the naughty face. can u see the pierce?...i wonder whether he's still used it when he's off duty. i haven't met him for a year already. and when ronal tobing and He met, gosh, it was really a nightmare for me. i cannot handle them. but i missed that moment so much

Now I'm really proud of him. he finally made it through. he's being placed in some remote place which i don't know where. he told me last time but i forgot because, at least to my knowledge, i have no idea that that place has ever existed. my mom has to shut me down because i kept laughing about it. anyway hopefully it can be a lesson for him.

that's my sister adrianica katherine cuddling on the bed. i like her name so much. her name is a combination of my dad', mom', 2nd brother's and my name. very unique. and she's tough. don't ever whack her, you are the one who will feel the pain.

that's my brother daniel and michael when they were still small. these two cannot meet because they will fight but when they don't meet for a day, they will start looking for each other. funny.

michael and agnes. this little girl talks alot and asks lots of questions which often time drives me crazy. one thing to stop her is to get her playing with me or scare her with ghost story. even though she likes watching ghost story, she's still scared hearing ghost story.

i heart them. i miss them so much.

New Recipe

Meatballs : Cumin, Oregano seeds, chilli, salt, oregano, rosemary, pepper, bread crumbs, egg. mix well all the ingredients with the meat into balls.

Tomato sauce : canned or fresh tomatoes, onions, basil, salt, pepper and a dash of sugar.

Cooking instructions :
1. fry the meatballs until the colour turns a little bit brownies
2. put the sauce into dish and put the fried meatballs inside
3. put mozzarella cheese or parmesan and bake them
4. wait until the cheese is melting and put onto the pasta
5. ready to be served.
6, very yummy

please don't be deceived by its look or presentation. it was too smoky when i took the pics. it was actually well presented and the meatballs...ah..im speechless. it was such scrumptious meatballs. it has its special aroma and taste.

btw, it was not my recipe. it was shaun's recipe. he's a good cook and he's also very funny. greeting me with japanese's greeting but presenting me with the italian food.

want some? P P P

sighed

aq merasa pingin menyerah aja...menghindar sebisa mungkin dan kalo bisapun menghilang.
that's all i've got to say.

Leisure

Going shopping, travelling, watching movies..forget about it. It is not the leisure I’m currently engaging in. This is also not something that I planned. Rather it is just happened on impulse. Lying on the couch with a book in my hand and music played on the ipod that I’m so into these few days. With a clear tone I say no to friends who asked me ‘aren’t u bored to stay at home for the whole day’? yea at least not this time. haha it is rather weird because I hardly stay up late just to read novel or story book, yea except for harry potter that dragged me till really late at night (not the whole series of harry potter, just one of them).

At first I was glancing idly through the book and it excited me as it exposed the loopholes in law and also the fascinating expose of the ways in which law is just a black and white sets of rules and principles that the judiciary and lawyers are not lived up to sometimes. Or perhaps it is just the way I interpreted it. Often time movies or novels involving the courtlike scenario are too far from what the reality is, yea too far from I have learned at Law school. The series on‘girl, sex and money’ for example, how could a state prosecutor prosecuted a defendant where she’s having sexual relationship with a defendant’s brother? Another annoying example of an American show where the prosecutor and the defence lawyer have a relationship and proceed to prosecuting the defendant without disclosing their relationship to the bench and withdrawn themselves from the case. Where is the fiat justitias (let justice be done)? That’s a rather obvious example of bias and the defendant has been denied a fair trial. Another lie is where those shouting and foul language fill the court’s atmosphere. It is rather a solemn presentation of case, you can even hear the fly flies If I need to say it to give you a clear imagination how the real court system like.

The book that I’m reading is different from usual book involving the court-like system maybe because the author is a Botswana’s first High Court judge. Although, at the beginning I suspected it to be the same as normal book, I was wrong. In the end of the story, it explained why the Judge did not withdraw himself in the first place while hearing the case of his granddaughter who has been raped by a maniac man. It turns up that he did not know that she was his granddaughter. And yea in the end, the case was not heard in his court and this secret has not been revealed to the public.

The novel makes my mood swings ups and downs. It’s all about rape and abuse cases. I like the character that the prosecutor played. She’s very fierce not only the opponents but to the judges whom to her mind do not live according to the spirit of law.

Sighed...I finished reading the novel already. Then what to read next? Romance novel. No way. I’m not fond to reading those. They make me fall asleep.

That’s my leisure for these few days.

Plans

Unlike me, my dad has lots of plans for me. do your postgrad-diploma this month to this month and next you do your master from this year to this year and then you work for 1 year and after that you do your Phd. he even suggested me working not in Indonesia but other countries. i could only say WOW, that's really a great plan.

in the midst of the conversation, I asked him a question, yea jokingly, when do i get married? without pause, he asked me back, do u have one already and who's that guy?. I just laughed and he continued saying 'well you can get married after you work'. oh gosh, my dad even planned at what age i get married. i cannot believe what i heard. I just hope he won't plan to get me a husband. I'll definitely run away if he does that.

anyway, after all it was a great conversation and plan and i personally astounded by that. as the bible says men can plan but God will decide. I just wait for God to direct me as to what i should do.

i cannot stop smiling...and dad, you are so funny

My Hero Mummy

I miss my mom terribly. Wondering what she is doing right now. I guess something productive. Lol. My Mom is my world to me. She’s the one that I called when I was stressing out about studies even though sometimes she scolded me because she could not catch up what I was saying as I cried when I talked. My dad, well, he responded differently when I called and cried about studies. He laughed and made fun of me. He would say ‘masa anak bapak nangis gara-gara kuliah’. In that sense, he made me stopped crying. Oh ya, Alex also responded differently as well. He laughed and at the same time he asked me whether I wanted to watch movie or eat out. That was happened on my first semester.

What did I just say? I supposed to share about my mom. Okie now come back to that. My mom I would say ‘like to keep things to herself’. If she feels sad, she wouldn’t show it, but I know. She just does not want to make us worried. She is also strong in the sense that if I’m in her position, I certainly don’t know whether I can do what she has done in the past.

She’s also cheerful one and very funny. She can make her colleagues laughed, you know a belly laugh. I often go to her office, that’s why I know. She also makes me laugh.

My mom is also a very good cook. If I’m going back, I dont wanna eat out because I wanna eat my mom’s cooking. She feeds me like a baby if I’m home. My aunt Nella is a very good cook too. I often watch them cooking so that I can get their recipes. When it comes to cooking it is always different to read the recipe book and cook them according to the instruction than watch the chef cooking and practice them yourself. I prefer the latter.

My mom is also a control freak when it comes to cleanliness. Oh gosh, but I get used to it already and at the same time I have been trained to be tidy and clean. Well, it was not my mom who trained me how to take care about the house. Rather it was my grandmother. I used to stay at my grandmother’s place which is far away from Medan, for 4 years. I was being nagged by my grandmother for my own good (because I did not know how to do house cleaning, not even how to wash plates). Now I miss those nagging and my grandmother’s house. I like to be in my grandmother’s place because I could go to the wheat field (not my grandma’s but family member’s), pick fruits by myself, walk early in the morning to ‘permandian air panas (natural one), and had a horseride from the wet market with grandma (which I never had in Medan and Msia).

My mom has a 6 sense too. You know, when your mom said ‘don’t ride a motorcycle’, you just have to obey otherwise sometimes things will go wrong. That always happened to me and my brothers. When I disobeyed her, I got into accidents. ouch, painful.

My mom is also an example for me to go stronger in my faith to God. Before I came to Msia, we always had our devotion together at 5am. That was a wonderful time. She always keeps her children in her prayers and gently guide us to God.

That’s all about my mom from now
Thanks Mummy
Love you so much

Simplicity

is life complicated? or is that I that make it complicated? it has been bestowed upon me an authority as to whether i choose to make it complicated or simple. i wonder why i chose the complicated way of life. and now im absolutely tired of living in that way.

even Jesus asks us to live in simplicity and why am i so stubborn? huh, Now i choose to live as simple as what has been written in matthew 7:7 'ask and it will be given to you; seek for you will find it; and knock and the door will be opened to you'. I also choose not to care about other things that bother me along the way as i stand upon His word. I need to speak with an authority that it is mine. I feel tired of thinking and being bothered by pressures.

I was just pondering upon the words that my fellow friend asked me. he just asked me these 2 questions 'have you tried knocking at the doors?' and 'do you choose to be affected by the circumstances or you choose to manage it?'. I keep the answers to myself. but right now, i wanna take heed and live according to that message from the book of matthew.

live in simplicity is the thing that i need to exercise and pray for.

Frailty

ah my eyes are dried and painful. my lower back and legs are also pain. I feel tired so easily. what's wrong with me. i wonder why i get sick so easy and often here in australia. is it the weather or my antibody has gone to 0,01% again? i had had the boosters for 3 times 2 years ago and my last booster will be in 2010. then what is it? i feel tired seeing a doctor already.

i dont like taking medication and i prefer to go natural. i think i should change my dietary intakes and set my sleeping time framing. any suggestion for the foods?

A Thought Before I Sleep

a sudden whim of being alone passes my thought. there is no explanation whatsoever.i just wanna be alone and stop doing what i normally do (something that dragged me from what i really was). my morning was spent writing my thought on my other entry that no one could read but me. i felt a sense of relief there.

i'm thankful that step by step my daddy help me to go through this and deliver me from the place where i was to the place that he heads me to. i understand that there is no such a thing as an overnight 360 degree change. it could be a shocking and temporarily one if such a thing happened. this year, he reminds me through a friend of mine that i need to overcome the fear that overwhelmed me. this fear gives me lots of pressure. i would not say that i call myself stupid for the first time but i hardly say it because there is a power on words that are coming out of our mouth. i called myself stupid because daddy has given me lots of solid proof that he will keep delivering me but yet i still feared. isn't it stupid? how much more i need for daddy to show that he's always by my side and will direct me and that he has a wonderful plan for me and for that reason i should not fear? i also wonder why. but i'm not worried because i certainly know that i'll get the answer later as i ask and seek him.

at this time being, i just need direction because i see no doors opened and i have no idea where to go and what to do. even though im in this kind of situation, i wanna learn not to fear but to trust him because only by and through faith alone daddy can act.

i end this by encouraging myself that 'even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for daddy is with me and his rod and his stuff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4)'

the 'T'

i'm scared as the day passes by
T____________________T

"2009"

In tiredness, the thought of having my own quite time came to mind. Just me, I and ika that I wanted for New Year Eve. But it had never happened. Rather it only happened after 3am. Although my quite time was rather late, I was glad that finally I could make it. I have lots of things in my mind. I was not feeling discouraged by what I found and heard (not absolutely, only slightly). It became my focus in the year of 2009. Cheering up the loved one when I felt the most broken was something that God has distracted me away from focusing on the problems. The loved one needed courage and supports to stand by and to tell her that I love her so much. I’d do anything for her. But I made a big mistake. I was really really angry and disappointed at my brother. In anger I poured out what came to mind. It should not be that way and I’m so sorry for that. I took a deep breath trying to cool down. I could only pray that God will open up your heart to truly see what’s going on.

Anyway, this New Year was my second best new year ever in my life. Last year was the year where God tested my faith. It was truly true that even though the suffering was last throughout the night (and at the same time I felt hopeless), His joy came in the morning. It’s like God gave me a reward for waiting patiently for him to act on time. A big smile was put on my face. :D :D :D

This New Year is the year of freedom, I can decide where I wanted to spare my New Year Eve and do whatever I wanted to do without someone telling me what to do and where to go.lol, this is only a temporary feeling. The truth is this year is a year of faith. There are lots of things that if I see with my own bare eyes are impossible to get them restored and transformed. What God has been telling me these days is to acknowledge Him, His Power and anything that He can do through me as I have my faith set on Him. Basically, it is to take shelter at His words and faithfulness. Oh no, I didn’t realize that God has repeatedly told me this until I flashed back on His words that I have read. Okie, I got it Now.

To sum up, I say I enter the year of 2009 with faith. Everything is gonna be alright.

The Count Down

These days till the day of New Year Eve, I had a very hectic and tiring day. I moved out from my previous cosy house to Janice’s place which is also cosy (it’s clean that’s why it’s cosy). Cheeming has been helping me to move my stuffs but yet I still have to carry things on my own, washed the carpet, and cleaned the whole house on my own too. I reckon, if I continued doing it JUST for another 1 day, I think I’d collapse.

Despite the fact that I was tired and could not make it for dinner on cheeming’s b’day, my New Year eve was awesome. I went over to their house right after they finished dinner. I was served with cheese cake and cherries and their laughter at the mah-jong table. Kinda of understand how to play it...the real mah-jong not the computer one...lol.

Teng teng it’s 11.22, everybody was rushing to get to the waterfront to see the fireworks. Sparks...sparks...sparks of the fireworks were not only splashed in one shape. Rather, they came in different shapes like flowers, falling stars, flowers and many more. It was extraordinarily beautiful. I was astounded at its beauty. It was also the day where the summer was felt like a winter. It was freaking cold!!!!! Thank goodness Yoong Sing lent me his overcoat.
I felt exciting to let people who are living in the different continents know that it’s already 2009 here in Hobart. It feels like Doraemon.lol...anyway it’s incredible awesome.

So, how’s yours?