A Thought Before I Sleep

a sudden whim of being alone passes my thought. there is no explanation whatsoever.i just wanna be alone and stop doing what i normally do (something that dragged me from what i really was). my morning was spent writing my thought on my other entry that no one could read but me. i felt a sense of relief there.

i'm thankful that step by step my daddy help me to go through this and deliver me from the place where i was to the place that he heads me to. i understand that there is no such a thing as an overnight 360 degree change. it could be a shocking and temporarily one if such a thing happened. this year, he reminds me through a friend of mine that i need to overcome the fear that overwhelmed me. this fear gives me lots of pressure. i would not say that i call myself stupid for the first time but i hardly say it because there is a power on words that are coming out of our mouth. i called myself stupid because daddy has given me lots of solid proof that he will keep delivering me but yet i still feared. isn't it stupid? how much more i need for daddy to show that he's always by my side and will direct me and that he has a wonderful plan for me and for that reason i should not fear? i also wonder why. but i'm not worried because i certainly know that i'll get the answer later as i ask and seek him.

at this time being, i just need direction because i see no doors opened and i have no idea where to go and what to do. even though im in this kind of situation, i wanna learn not to fear but to trust him because only by and through faith alone daddy can act.

i end this by encouraging myself that 'even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil, for daddy is with me and his rod and his stuff they comfort me (Psalm 23:4)'