July 29

it's always hard when it comes to adjustment after along period of holidays. believe or not, i have been sleeping like 6 to 8 hours a day. i can't believe i could sleep that long because prior to this i would definitely get up with a terrible and indescribable headache that could last throughout the day. pretty bad huh*.

guess what, yesterday i could get up at 7am. i brushed my teeth and i did my devotion. walking with God is not that easy though. there's always ups and downs that will come and go along the way. i'm going through that all the time. however, God is always faithful. why and how do i know it? yeah eventhough i have gone so far from Him, He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He never let me go down to the pit- He always reminds me of His love. personally, i would feel miserable until and unless i get back on track. somehow i think this is the way God saving me from going so far away from Him. my heart melt as he spoke to me this morning from the book of Deuteronomy 32:1-47. this passage talks about God's faithfulness, mercy and unconditional love to His people. eventhough, His people had turn their back against Him, He remained faithful and did not let His people being beaten up by their adversaries.

hey guys listen up.. i'll read aloud the lyrics of this song. take heed to every single word of the lyrics okay

all for love the Father gave

only love can make a way

all for love the heaven spreads

for love was crucified

for how many times have i broken your heart

still you forgive if only i asked

and how many times have you heard me pray
draw near to me

everything i need is you
my beginning my forever
everthing i need is you

let me sing all for love
i join the angels' songs
ever holy is the Lord
King of glory King of all

i have been listening to this song while i was studing in the library yesterday. seriously, i felt so touched and i began to weep. yeah again i could not stand in His presence. it's too great.

*dont ever think that God is gonna give up on you. he has formed and chose you for His purposes. So He wont let you go.

new challenges

the holidays have been over and the semester comes in and of course, there will be more challenges this time round. even before the semester begins, i, somehow, could see and sense that those challenges come into existence signalling me to come out of my comfort zone. day after day i begin to realise that God is preparing me to come out, speak up and play my roles such as time as this. it's not the time to just sit down and listen but it's time to speak up girl.

frankly speaking, i don't like speaking in the public. preferrably, i rather go for one to one basis kinda interaction. it's weird because as a law student i supposed to speak confidently in the public. this semester, i definitely cannot escape at all. 3 out of 4 subjects that i'm taking for this semester have something to do with public performance like mooting, case presentation and leading the discussion in the class. Omg speaking in front of 50-70 students, just sweep my brain off. things that i know very well just dissappeared in a minute. i hope it wont happen this time. huhhh

apart from studies, ministry demands the same thing (kids ministry, worship team ministry and bible studies ministry). a friend of mine asked me to lead the word in OCF (oversea christian fellowship) with the other 2 leaders. from the outset of offer, i took sometimes to consider it and finally i decided to take the offer. i know..i know..i should not even think twice when God asks me so. i murmured saying 'seriously, speak up in the crowd? now? i'm not ready yet'. 'oh well, ready or not you are on'. as the time passed by, piece by piece revealed unravelling God's purpose for me in Tassie, i.e. to serve Him actively and at the same time He wants to build my confident which i dont have.

oh God, i need a breakthrough to overcome this fear and i pray that You will lead me. i rely heavily on You alone for i'm incapable of doing these things alone.

kidz

it's my first time serving in the kidz ministry. they were so adorable. we sang, danced, played games and read a bible story about 'the lady who was healed only by touching God's garment', and we also did some colouring.

they told lots of story and i just had to sit down and listen to them. the best part of the story was when one of the kids told me that his teacher gave him a lobster in which his teacher bought it from the VET shop. in the respond to this, his sister, kate and i laughed and he said 'well it was what my teacher told me so'. yeah we believed his story.

while others did the colouring, some of the kidz did the dancing games, you know where they had to dance while the music on and be still when it was otherwise kind of thing. i was captured by this little boy, roughly about 3 or 4 years old.whooo he was the best i think. he was rapping man. cool.

serving in the kidz ministry is a lesson for me. Be honest and Be yourself were things that i picked up from them. you do not need to think what others might think about you. just Be youself, Be the one that God has made you.

i'm looking forward for the next turn with the kidz and i believe God will speak through them to me as He always does.

tahune forest airwalk

Finally, we’re reaching to our final destination, tahune forest airwalk. It’s roughly 1 ½ hours driving from sandy bay. Believing that it’s gonna be 12 degrees, i darely wore 2 layers of clothing, 1 wool warm jacket and yeah as you can see, the windbreaker make the final touch. i know..i know that i look awful but nevermind, once it gets to spring and summer, those layers will be off. Whoo, I don’t like wearing so many layers. It’s heavy and uncomfortable.

These 3 friends of mine and i are the real adventurers. We’re the gliders. It’s abel, lesley and alex. Instead of going with the crowd for another fews metres of walking on the swinging bridges, we, out of our own volition, decided to take up something exciting. We went for eagle hang gliding. It was fun

It’s me taking off. Unlike my friends who were screaming when the glider going down from up there, i screamed when the glider taking off. Seriously, i freaked out when it reached the top because all i could see was the river and trees and i started imagining that there might be some unusual creature that would probably hiding and waiting to petrify me. I think i’m becoming an agoraphobic.

Another glider, alex. Bergaya lagi..he wanted more of it.

This is lesley. She’s the second person to glide. She actually wanted to glide without the cable. Most probably, she won’t be able to gather back with the group if it was the case.

on the way home, we stopped at the wine shop. We all had a free testing for wine. I tried 3 types of wine and amongst those, i like the sweet one, the dessert as they called it. dont worry, i did not drunk, i only took a few sips.

At the viewpoint, i captured this. Do you have any idea what is it? It’s a bewitching rainbow.

overall it's great. However, this is not my dream place. im looking forward to go to Mount Cradle. it's beautiful and it is highly probable that you would be bewitched by its panorama especially during winter.

early thursday evening

i just finished my exam yesterday afternoon and if i am not miscounted, this will be my 3rd papers that i could finish on time ever since i study law..HORE because usually i dont..lack of time management.

after the exam, i went out with janice to buy some groceries and as usual, vegetables will be on my top list. as soon as i told janice that i wanted to eat indomie with lots of vege and an egg, she just shook her head and commented *indomie againnnnn Ikaaa*. yeah i indulged myself eating indomie for these few days.

as i was going around the aisle, i was captured by the colorful packaging of indomie. it is originally from indonesia. i think you know what i'm talking about. while still searching for the spicy one, there was this skinny boy with a black backpack standing right next to me. he wanted to buy indomie too. he picked one and put it back, picked up again and this time he looked through his wallet to see whether he has enough *coins*. he counted the coins several times and i stood still and asked myself whether i should ask him if he needed any help. i did not dare to ask him first because i fret that he might take it as an insult. i remained in my place and was waiting for him to talk to me because literally he was getting closer to me. had he stepped one step further to the left, he and i would have stood side by side. feeling a bit bizarre, i took a move but still standing next to him. finally, he bought 3 packages of indomie. honestly, i felt bad. had i not take that step, he would have talked to me. subsequently, i went out from the supermarket hoping to see him and i found nothing. really i felt disappointed at myself.

i hope and pray that he will be alright wherever he is.

impatience

Omg, these people drive me crazy lately. please don't test my patience because it will be a huge blast. if you ask me right now, i'll tell you that i'm pretty much wanted to scream and tell them *pls pls be more tolerant and considerate*.

thank goodness, i could still keep my mouth shut. i've been praying that God will give more patience..i need it!!!

affirmation

ting...ting...ting, my alarm rang at 5am. did i wake up? oh no..i snoozed it for numbers of times. knowing that i have to study, i quickly sit up and say a quick prayer. literally, whilst praying, i bargained with God saying Lord i promised i read Your word later. God responded, 'well I want to affirm with My word before you actually study'. as you know we can't bargain with God.

God affirmed me with His word from the book of Daniel 9-10. He said 'I have now come to give you insight and understanding. as soon as you began to pray an answer was given, which i have come to tell you, for you are highly esteemed'.

i smiled and prayed 'thank you Lord for your affirmation' and 'i thank you that i'm not walking alone this morning'.

my bargain failed and God's word prevailed. so DO NOT BARGAIN WITH GOD

Good Morning

i woke feeling heaty but at the same time i felt cold. weird i supposed. nevertheless, it's a very cozy morning.

i just dropped by to write Good Morning and hope we all have a blessed day ahead.

So now, it's time to have a cup of tea and watch tele...=)

remorse

what have i done?
am i subconciously or unconsciously behaving in ignorant?
what have i forgotten? how could i forget about them?
i have forgotten about my loves one. the one whom i have spent my whole life mostly and whom i have been intimately closed with and always and always there to support me no matter what i'm going through. they dare to drop me lots of encouragements when i'm down regardless of what they are going through at that very moment. so sorry for what i've done. i beg for their forgiveness for my impertinent behaviour.

i just want to pray that God will restore this relationship once again. the distance should not be an excuse for contacting them any less. this should not be the way. there must be something to be done. i love ____ and ____. really love you and i'm really sorry.

few days ago, i called her and she told me about her grudges and it just struck me badly because i thought she would be strong. But i was totally wrong. she said she had tried very hard to forgive and to pray for him but she no longer capable of bearing the pains. she was so bitter inside and here i am, passively asking about it, just knew about it. do you know how sad and bitter i feel? forgive me for being passive ____. so sorry for being ignorant and i pray that God will strengthen you and soften your heart and heal your broken heart. we will be all together one day. God has promised me that.

as for him, i just feel how our relationship has been strained and so so distanced. why? there are many things that i have not revealed to him. years ago, i wanted to tell him about things in my heart but there were always something that hindered me for telling him. was it driven by fear that his anger that i might not be able to bear? or was it because of fret that i would not be accepted by him and he might think i am ungrateful towards him. i am afraid to talk to him. is this unhealthy fear? i do not know. i'm struggling. but one thing i want to assure you is that i really do love you and i will prove that even though i do not know how i might express it to you. i pray that God will change you and i will not give up until God answer my prayers. Lord, remind me to pray for them, for those that i have forgotten to pray for.

i need more remainder and top up and pick the phone up and started calling those numbers. i don't care how much it would cost me because this relationship is everything to me.

wardrobe

Wanna know what is new in your wardrobe? Let’s check it out. NEW scarf, cardigan, overcoat, windbreaker, mini skirt, blouses, gorgeous dresses,cuteeeee beanie and so on. so i’ll probably throw the old ones because they are obselete. the same thing applies to us as christians, the old clothes should be torn apart and put on the new ones.

In colossians 3:9-11, it says since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in the knowledge in the image of its Creator, there will no longer Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all and is in all. So, as God’s sole intention is to give new clothes, now He gives you free wardrobe full of up-to-date fashionable, branded and gorgeous and lovely clothes, accesorries, boots and lots of things that you might possible think of or desire to have. in the following passage, it says that He will clothe you with COMPASSION, KINDNESS, HUMILITY, GENTLENESS, PATIENCE, FORGIVENESS, PEACE, LOVE AND THANKFULNESS. Yeah these are our new clothes now brothers and sisters.

The today’s service is slightly different. Kidzzzz joined us today in the service and guess what, they sang, danced and took part in the drama. They were all cute and not to forget Ps Dave was being chosen as well to perform with the kidz. So in the drama, the kidz had to run as quickly as possible and put on shoes, beanies and the final touch..yeyeeeee the garment. Ps Dave was in a mess because he could not put on the garment, perhaps it was because the size of the garment....slightly small...it’s a lady’s garment anyway...it’s not a win or lose game kind of thing, but it is how we will grow gradually into the likeness of Jesus Christ..

I’ll post the pictures and video some other time. Im still waiting for my friend to send them to me. I promise....

winter camp

After all the disspointment for not going to Sydney, i was blessed indeed here in Hobart. For these 2 days i was attending a WINTER CAMP. Sound so incredible? Camping during WINTER? Is it Posibble? Yeah in fact it was executed here. As a matter of fact, it was not held out in the nature but it was in the church’s lower ground. do not underestimate, they do have kitchen, a huge foyer, sofa and musical intruments too..It’s still cold though. It was my first camp ever and it was fun and i savoured the companion, messages, foods, peoples, the practices, singing, fellowships and the workshops.

Without undue delay, let me introduce you with Ps Larry. He’s a humble man whom God has blessed and God has spoken through him to me and to all of us, i believe, with enormous clarity and trust me he has a good sense of humour as well. He said because of his wife proposal of marriage, he had to reject another 50 women. Ehem ehem ehem. Alright, focus.. Theme for the camp was intimate relationship with God. It was awesome. I thought i would remain the same from the day i came with an empty handed, but it turned into a deep crush of a spirit- God wants me back and to be honest with Him. I squealed within me desiring God to restore this relationship once again.

Do you know that God’s the desire is to be our FATHER and actually He does not like playing the role of a judge? God does feel crush and broken in His heart whenever He has to be a JUDGE to His own children which are US (Hosea 11). These two roles are totally playing different roles and Ps Larry was sharing his personal experience when he had to face a charge. all the judge wants is that there is no miscarriage of justice and he does not care about his feeling. on the contrary, his father’s concerned was his feeling-the fear that Ps Larry was feeling at that time. Likewise applies to God. Do you see how difficult is that for God to be a Father and at the same time, he has to be a Judge as well?foreseeing this, Jesus brought it to cross and He no longer judges us-there’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ. The point is that the way we see God will determine our relationship with Him. seeing God as a judge will distance our relationship with Him because no body wants to get near to a judge i supposed because he might sentence you if you do wrong. Practically, neither prosecutor nor defence lawyer will dare walk or talk or sit with a judge when there is ongoing case. Literally, it is a miscarrige of justice and as a consequence the conviction will be squashed,,,,Ok enough for the law. But if we see God as our father, we will run after him and always wants to cling to him. He will not punish you but he will nurture you and patiently and gently teach you to do His will and to be a good person.

Well the foregoing is just a small part of the entire camp, so in succinct, it wraps up the idea that an intimate relationship with God is possible and within reach-God has made an invitation to come to Him and all that it takes is that to accept or to take it (Isaiah 55). And of course there are some sacrifices that we all need to make in order for that relationship to get deeper and intimate. God wants us to spend our time with Him in our quiet place + he wants us to be GENUINE and HONEST with Him. He wants you to tell Him how exactly you feel- it could be that ‘you are angry with God’ or your agony or you happiness or anything. God can still bear it. He knows how to deal with it and He knows exactly how you feel. so communicate with Him honestly.

there are some photos taken..lots lots lots fun

He will be my perfect partner in the future..pls contact me if you feel that u look like him...really i am serious..this was during workshop n i drew this with the light off..i was totally no idea what i drew..apparently everybody was laughing looking at the drawing of their so called 'perfect Mr Right'..some of them the head is not attached at all to the body..some look like a cartoon..yeah out of our real expectation of a perfect or at least ideal partner.the idea was to show us that there's no such a perfect partner. we all form and wire to complete one another

wanna know what's in your brain? take a look at it closer

hihi..believe it or not he's a bachelor of domestic therapeutic..just kidding...he's a lame joker and always being bullied by girls..he's daren (singporean) and jean. his bahasa is zero and everybody taught him words that are really funny.. we all laughed at him and i suspected that he has no idea what we were laughing at..i pity him. poor daren. i should give him a lecture on bahasa..haha better pay me for that..

here is our wonderful worship team

poor rebecca. She must be very tired. the Youth Pastor awaken her and she felt so shy

finally we are out for lunch. we ate at sakura..he's salman from thailand

ooopsss, it gets to the end. ehem ehem here i am, still learning and in fact there are lots of things that i still need to learn. so i hope and pray that God will help you and i in working on that and be fruitful in the end...

scared

Being alone on the creepy night and with the creepy roaring of the wind is just not fun at all. i loathe it very much..really..probably i would cover myself with a blanket again just like what i did yesterday. i slept quite early yesterday, yeah it's at 10pm, not because i was sleepy or tired but because i was scared. the wind is bloody strong and it's horrifying.

I REALLY HATE IT... I AM SCARED

i need my roommate back. please come back as soon as possible. i need you NOW.